so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
