I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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