I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
