some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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