You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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