So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
