Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
