Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He felt like a one man threesome
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
