I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
