I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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