just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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