And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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