Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
