Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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