How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think I won the penis lottery.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
