K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
