AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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