I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
