I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
