How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Terrible idea I love it
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
