Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
