Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
