So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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