Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
