Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
