Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
