i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
