You work out of a Hotel?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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