areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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