dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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