I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
