is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
