check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
