Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
