fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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