I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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