Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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