I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
