When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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