life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
