I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
