Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
