I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
