Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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