Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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