she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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