so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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