Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
