I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think my vagina is haunted
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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