Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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