I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
