Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
